Category Archives: The Kittehs

Too Nude Tuesday

Hi everyone! It’s me. Smudge. Here to tell you about my no good, awful day last week.

P1090750

Remember how I told you that they figured out I have feline ass-muh? And that ass-muh is lots of times caused by allergies and so I was gonna maybe have to have allergy testing? Well, I went and had it done (even though my friend Ziggy the Adoptable Dog told me I probably shouldn’t since they might decide I was allergic to noms like they told HIM and that I would only get to eat boring stuff from now on which just sounds AWFUL!).

Well, luckily, they didn’t tell me I was allergic to food. Thank COD! But…gulp!…oh gosh, this is so embarrassing…LOOK what they did to me!

Side 1

They shaved half my furs off! And then they poked me with needles SIXTY times with stuff I might be allergic to! The worst part is that they gave me this stuff to make me kinda sleepy so there was NOTHING I could do about it. I just woke up and BOOM! Half my furs are gone and I have little black dots all over me. At first I was confused and thought maybe I’d gone out partying with some of my friends and ended up with a tattoo. But luckily, the black dots wash off.

Anyway, it’s just downright embarrassing. I’m practically NEKKID! And with Mayzie’s Gotcha Day party coming up, I don’t even know how I’m going to face the lady cats. I’ve been working on a comb-over…

side 2

But so far, no luck…

Carp! It's still there!

Carp! It’s still there!

Sigh. Do you think ANY of the lady cats will dance with me at the party?

So anyway, once they poked me with the allergy-causing stuff, they waited to see if it caused a bump. Then they graded the reaction on a scale of 0-4. (Zero being nothing and 4 being the worst.) This is how it turned out:

allergy report

Click to biggify.

Most of ’em I don’t care about but the saddest one for me (other than being allergic to cattle which has dashed forever my dream of being a cowboy) is that I’m allergic to PEOPLE! Yes! PEOPLE!

Now, I know what you’re thinking but don’t worry. After giving it a LOT of thought, I’ve decided NOT to rehome mom and dad. I mean, I’m super attached to them and who would ever be able to take care of them like we do? So that’s why I’ve decided to go ahead and take allergy shots so that I can build up my immunity to them. Not every cat would do this, I know, but I’m willing to take one for the team!

Anyway, once I got home, Mayzie could tell how embarrassed and just plain worn out I was by the whole ordeal. So she scooted over in her condo and invited me to come snuggle with her.

mayzie smudge kiss

It made me feel lots better, that’s for sure! She’s one great sisfur!

mayzie cuddle

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Filed under Feline Asthma, The Kittehs

POTP for Abby

Hey, everybuddy! Remember how last week I told you abouts Sisfur Abby’s bump?

Well, this is the day they’re gonna take it off and send it away for a bye-op-see. So everybuddy keep your paws crossed REAL, REAL tight for our Most Beautiful Abby today, won’t you?

Thank you, thank you!

Update: Our V.E.T. called and said Abby did real good and is waking up from the sleepy medicines. We get to go pick her up in a few hours. Please keeps those paws crossed that her bye-op-see comes back A-OK!

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Filed under The Kittehs, Uncategorized

Ripley’s Retort

Yarrrrrrr! Tis I! The Dread Pirate Ripley Cat…and I be commandeering this boat…er…blog to address some most scandalous and scurrilous accusations that have been cast my way by one scurvy dog who goes by the name of Ranger.

I be puttin’ forth me own version of the story ye have already heard. Listen well or risk the plank!

Ya see, not so many years ago, me sister – the lovely Miss Abby – and meself were in full command of this ship. And oh! Twas a beautiful thing. Nothin’ but smooth seas and clear skies.

And then one day – out of the clear blue and with no warnin’ – me ma and pa brings aboard this cheeky young chap. Now he seems right friendly and goes on about how eager he is to join me ranks. I confess – I was taken in my his pretty words and thought to give him a chance.

But before ye know it, I find him holdin’ private conference with me pa, lookin’ in my direction, givin’ me a wink.

And twasn’t long before it came to me. He was talkin’ mutiny and tryin’ to usurp me rightful place as cap’n of this ship!

Well – I am sure that ye can sympathize with my most unsavory predicament. The lad had won me pa’s favor and what was I to do? And so I sought to set him straight. I confess that I used some rather salty language and perhaps stooped to depths beneath me – but can ye blame me now? As they say – desperate times call fer desperate measures indeed!

Me ma and pa held many a conference with meself, tryin’ to convince me that they would not allow the lad to step into me role as cap’n. And over the years, I had to accept that they were tellin’ me the truth – at least the truth as they see it. And so, to appease them (they do own the boat, ya know), I have made the most gallant efforts to be peaceable and amiable, at least while they’re lookin’. But it has not been easy and I can assure ye…I’m keepin’ me eye on the lad – just in case.

Now this new lass, Mayzie, does seem like a darlin’- albeit somewhat too forthright. But I have been fooled once and ye know what they say about fools! So I be keepin’ me eye on her as well – lest she also be plannin’ some dastardly plot behind me back.

Oh! And that book that the lad so alarmed ye with…?

Why, don’t ye be worryin’ yer furry li’l heads about it. Ye see, not meanin’ to brag, but I be a Pirate Cat of some learnin’. And what the snoop lad found me to be readin’ is nothin’ but an historical tome of some significance to Pirate Cats such as myself, written by the great Pirate Cat H. Stanley Redgrove who roamed the Seven Seas from 1712-1743. So ye see, me darlins, twas only an endeavor of intellectual curiosity that I be readin’ that book. Not that I be wantin’ to take over the world. What a delicious preposterous thought!

And so, me friends, I be layin’ before ye the case of the Dread Pirate Ripley Cat versus the Young Mutinous Upstart, Ranger the Dog. I shall now take me leave and let ye be me judge and jury.

Yo ho!

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Filed under The Kittehs

Ripley – Believe It or Not!

Haha! Did you like the title of this post? No, it’s not about that museum place. It’s about my Kitteh-Brudder, Ripley.

This is him. Isn’t he the Most Adorable?

Okay, so, this is how Ripley came to live with mom and dad.

Ripley’s mama was pregnant and homeless – living on the streets of Dallas (that’s in a big state called Texas). This nice lady named Miss Gail found her and took her home, where she gave birth to baby-kittehs. (Ripley’s mom. Not Miss Gail.)

In the meantime, mom and dad’s Most Beautiful Kitteh, Annabelle, crossed the Bridge. She was 17 years old! Mom and dad’s hearts were very sad.

Okay, so, you should know that my mom likes to act in plays. And one day she got a call from the director of this really awesome play and he told her that one of the actresses in the play had dropped out. Just like that! And he wanted to know if she wanted to be in the play. She was very excited and she said yes!

Well, one of the other people in the play was Miss Gail who we talked about earlier. And during their discussions, my mom told Miss Gail about how sad she was about losing Annabelle. And Miss Gail said that it just so happened she had some baby kittehs that were looking for a home!

So after talking it over with my dad for about 2 minutes, mom went over to Miss Gail’s house and picked out not one, but two!, kittehs! Ripley and his sister, Molly. (Very much sadly, Molly crossed the Bridge when she was only 4 cuz she was born with a bad – but according to my mom, very beautiful – heart.)

That was 12 whole years ago and Ripley now likes to refer to himself as the Pirate King of Everyone. Each morning, he presents dad with a list of complaints and demands.

Arrrr, matey! If ye be valuin’ yer life, the litterbox needs to be changed before the noon hour.

Avast, ye lily livered scalawag! Me food bowl is runnnin’ low. Refill it at once or risk walkin’ the plank!

But for all his big talk, I think he’s just the cutest little thing, don’t you? I never lived with kittehs before and I LUVS him so much that I get really excited and happy when I see him. But mom and dad don’t let me hang out with him cuz they think I am a little TOO excited about seeing him and they don’t want there to be a misunderstanding between us. So I just get to talk to him through a stupid gate thingie.

But I am very much hopeful that one day the gate will come down and I can join his pirate gang…er band…er whatever you call it. Arrrrr!

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Filed under The Kittehs