The Madness of Mom

Dear furends,

I know that to you all looking in from the outside, it must seems like my life is pawfect.

Oh, I know…I haves it better than most. And don’t gets me wrong — I sure am grateful for everything I have.

But, well, I’m here today to tell you that everything is NOT pawfect. No, not pawfect at all.

See, every night at dinnertime, Mom plays this very much torturous game with me  that she somehow thinks is “fun.” But let me tell you, it’s not fun at ALL. Nope. In fact, it’s the direct and complete OPPOSITE of fun (whatever that is).

Now, I know that some of you might not believes me but I have proof. I set up a super top secret camera to take super top secret hidden footage of this Most Disturbing act. I must warn you, it’s pretty graphic stuff so some of our more sensitive furends might not want to watch. But I think impawtant for everybuddy to know the truth.

Oh! And something else…it’s kinda dark cuz, well, that’s how super top secret hidden video recordings go. But watch carefully and make sure you haves your speakers turned up to truly experience what I have to endure.

Okay…roll the tape!

If you can’t see the movie, click here.

Do you see what I mean? It’s OBVIOUS that I was hungry. Why did she even have to ask? And was once enough? Nooooo…she asked like 87 million times. And even after I made it painfully clear HOW close to starving to death I was, it was hours before she finally got up to get my dinner.  HOURS! Honestly, it’s kind of a miracle I’m still alive today.

Now, I know some of you might be thinking abouts calling SPOB (Society for Protection of Brindles) but don’t. My mom’s pretty pawsome overall, so I just work hard to overlook this pawticular “quirk,” no matter how twisted it might seem.

And gosh, I’m sure I’m not alone. Do your pawrents have any kerazy habits that you’ve had to learn to endure? Maybe we can start Wacky Human Things We Have to Put Up With Anonymous. What do you think?



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28 responses to “The Madness of Mom

  1. OMD! Mayzie! What is your mom thinking??? We thinks that maybe you need to get her some help! Not only does she ask you like a million times BUT just the haphazard way she says, ‘are you hungry?’ We were totally SHOCKED and APPALLED at her behaviour!

    We were so distressed we had to eat a milkbone! Heck… we even had one when we re-watched the video!

    Let us know if you need us to send you an emergency pack that you can stash away in a super secret place for those times that you are near starvation!

    Sam and Pippen

  2. What…

    Oh my dear Mayzie! Clearly you are sufferings most greatly! I think you need to lawyer up and take matters into your own paw. Perhaps a cease and desist order is called for. Or at the very least, a stern talkings too!! Maybe you need to sign her up for, Scared Straight — The Doggy Parents Edition.

    Whatever you do, please do it soon! If you keep spinning, only Dog knows what will happen!!

    Stay brave!

    Your Pal, Miss Fendi HoneyBuzz

  3. OMD wee always forts yor Moms wos so sweet n kinds den wee see dat video ovs her torturin yoo most haynusly . Wee is SHOCKED ats her ! Does yoo needs a care package Mayzie our furiend ?
    Uji, Izzy, Ziggy n Missi
    xxx xxx xxx xxx

  4. Dear Miss Mayzie: We cannot even begin to count the strange things that go on around here! But we think your Mom should be told that when your beautiful ears perk up like that (WOW) you are truly interested and it is time to get the kibble out.

    gussie n teka

  5. OMG, what is that Mom thinking. You told her five times that you were very hungry. Then you had to fun away. By the way, love the circles. How about a very large woof next time she does that to you. That is just inexcusable Mayzie. Good luck. Take care too.

  6. Oh Mayzie, I’m crying for you on the inside! There are some things that are sacred and should not be teased about, like eating and asking if you need to go potty! I’m looking at you, Dad. If you say the “p” word, you’d better get up off your chair and take us out!


  7. Declan Greyhound

    I must congratulate you on your self control Mayzie. How you managed not to yell “Of course I’m ^”!*ing hungry you stoopid hooman” is beyond me. Mine keeps saying to me “are you a good boy?”. No Mum I’m a convicted murderer with a crack habit….” Doh……

  8. We bet it had been HOURS since your last meal. To make our hu-dad hurry with the bowls, we sing while he prepares our meals. He loves it. Really.

  9. We are shocked and dismayed…..very troubling! Our human sister is in the Air Force. We’ll try to get her to air drop treats between meals so you don’t get so hungry. That way when your Mommy tries to torment you like that, you can just lay down with you head on the ground and pretend to go to sleep….She’ll think something is very wrong with you and feel terrible. Then she will say how sorry she is, asks you to get better and promises to never torture you again! Problem solved! Easy-Peezy…..Off we go into the wild blue yonder…..
    Hugs, Ruby & “The Tribe”

  10. cafall

    The boys are also horrified that I saw this video! “Don’t get any ideas, Mom” they have said…


  11. Frankie Furter and Ernie

    WHINE WHIMPER WHINE… OH Mayzie… I had NO IDEA that you were so ILL TREATED. THIS TORTURE VIDEO is PROOF though. THIS MUST STOP. OMD OMD…. WHINE WHIMPER … I am sooooooooo sorry that you were abused in this HIDEOUS MANNER.

  12. Hehe. I do the same thing in our house. Sadie and Maggie understand “hungry”. For as smart as he is, Hurley hasn’t figured that one out yet so as they do twirlies for their dinner, Hurley just stands there looking dumb.

  13. fernerose

    Oh poor sweet Mayzie!!! I feel for you baby!!! Zoie says sometimes she has the same problem!!

  14. Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning

    Oh yes, we have the crazy mom here too. When she finally fixes our dinner bowls and sets them on the floor, she tells us to sit and WAIT!!! Wait??? For what??? That’s our dinner. We sit and wait and wait and wait until finally she says OK. Now that is really silly, just about as silly as throwing a ball and then telling us to go fetch it – if you really wanted that ball, why did you throw it away? We can never figure them out, Mayzie.

    Happy weekend.

    Woos – Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning


  16. miss mayzie,
    noooooo! the booker man can’t stand to see the horribleness of you tryin’ to get your suppers! bless your poor hungry ‘n brindle heart!
    if it’s any help to you, my mama tortures me ‘n asa about our suppers, too. she makes us sit on the rug in the kitchen and watch her fix our bowls. we can’t go eat until she says, “OK!”. but mama likes to play this MEAN GAME where she says, “O” and “K” separately like 50 gazillion times before she says, “OK!” all togethers.

    the booker man

    pee s — i like to do the spinies just like you do. *sigh*

  17. Not cool, Mom, not cool. Don’t you know that you don’t talk about dinner unless said dinner is already ready to go! Torture of the worst kind!

  18. Moms are just kerazy sometimes, aren’t they?? But it sure is cute the way your ears perked up. They’re like antennae!

  19. And here we thought all along that you had the sweetest mom, Mayzie! We are appalled that she would make you wait for so long!

    Love ya lots,
    Mitch and Molly

  20. Such torture!

    Stop on by for a visit

  21. Daisy

    Humans do the craziest things sometimes…….even the nicest…we can’t figure it out. We hope you finally got some food after all that!

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

  22. littlemissjackie

    Gosh Miss Mayzie, I can’t believe that your Mom does that! Of course you’re hungry, doggies are ALWAYS hungry! It’s bad enough that we have to wait all the way ’til mealtime to have our dinners! My mom just says, “Oh, it’s dinnertime, I will get your dinner for you,” and then she goes and does something else first and then FORGETS to get my dinner until I bark at her! Don’t they understand that dinnertime is the most IMPAWTANT? BARK!

    Luvs and smoochy-faces to ease your pains,


  23. daisydog

    That is just UNACCEPTABLE! She better be careful or the DWB community might call the Pawlice!

  24. whatremainsnow

    Brindle Sister Mayzie…Freedom here. One word from you, and your mom is reported. Yes, my mom is kerazy too. Every night she squirts this horrible mint gel on her finger, sticks her finger in my mouth and rubs it on my teeth! Have you ever heard of anything like that? What is wrong with these moms? Like you, I have it pretty good. I tolerate this bizarre behavior because she also gives me Frosty Paws doggie ice cream.

  25. Enuff talk…where is dinner?!? Moms are dense sometimes..


  26. Maggie was very disturbed by the video, I had to turn down the sound because she was so worried about you! Duke and Ozzy even came over to see what was so awful. Truly torture according to them.

  27. Humans do have a way of asking silly questions! Hey, now I’m hungry! Tell your Mom that mynDad is looking forward to seeing her at Barkworld!

  28. Roo

    BOL! Aw Mayzie that was very twisted of your Mom! BOL! Glad you EVENTUALLY got your supper 😉

    Waggin at ya,

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