An Intruder in Our Midst

From: Queen Abigail, Ruler of All That She Surveys
To: Her Friends, Followers and Supplicants

Greetings and Salutations,

Today We send you this missive from the safety of Our bunker in a top-secret, undisclosed location.

We are here to report some grievous and most disturbing news. It seems Our Queendom has been invaded by an intruder of shifty and nefarious character.

We believe that he possesses mystical powers because he seems to have brainwashed our staff. We have actually heard them refer to him as “adorable.” Adorable? Really? You call THIS adorable?

No, darlings, THIS is adorable…

To Our shock and dismay, even the canine members of Our court have succumbed to his spell.

We alone seem to be immune to his particular brand of black magic. We have ordered Our staff to remove him from Our castle at once but they reply, in a most condescending and untoadie-like manner, “Oh, Abby, you’ll get used to him. In fact, you’ll be good friends before you know it!” To which We hissingly retort…

NEVER!

And so We are reaching out to you, Our dear, dear friends in Blogville. What might one do to break the dark spell and return peace to Our land? How might We vanquish this most devilish of beasts?

Sincerely and Gratefully,

Queen Abigail, Ruler of All That She Surveys

Postscript: Until such time that this dastardly foe is defeated, might you be so kind as to send extra treats to Our safety bunker? We seem to be running low and We dare not venture far from Our refuge. Friskies are Our favorite. Simply address the package: Queen Abigail, Top Secret Bunker Location, Colorado, USA

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26 Comments

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26 responses to “An Intruder in Our Midst

  1. ande123

    Hi there Abby, tell the staff to just be patient with you. One thing which may or may not work is to have the introoder and Abby play with a toy together. Do you have a wand toy?? There is one called DaBird that all cats love. Maybe get Abby playing with it and then include Smudge. It will take Abby some time to get used to having an introoder. Just be patient Abby, I bet you will like Smudge. He sounds like such a nice guy. Take care.

  2. OH DEAR ME ABBY being Diva of all I survey 100% can identify with this problem. I’m so sorry all of your subjects have fallen prey to the ways of a another feline with a Smudge on his nose and a gleam in his eyes, a gentle meow….and worst of all he is loved and adored by all except you. I cannot believe Mayzie and Ranger are letting this
    introoder stand in front of them. MOL

    You’ll be safe in your bunker until Mr. Smudge on his noses decides that you WANT to play with him. I expect he’ll try to jump in your bunker too. I fear the only answer to this problem is if you can’t lick’em, join’em.
    Big hugs and lots of sympathy
    Madi

  3. Daisy

    Until he grows out of all that cuteness, you’re stuck with him stealing your thunder.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

  4. Abby, I feel your pain! We have an infidel invader here at our house, too. I tried sending him back, but the humans were too weak to his charms. What I’ve decided to do is make him one of my minions. So far, it’s working out pretty well!

    Bunny

  5. Gail

    Poor Abby! Maybe you should take Bunny’s advice and make him a minion. I’ve heard that they can be very helpful!

  6. It’s so hard having to deal with invaders like that! I think that the best way to go on is to kill him with kindness. Take him under your paw and show him the ropes. That way, you can train him to do anything you want! Just think how pawsome having a minion will be! He can fetch your treats for you while you rest.

  7. We’re a little surprised that you would hide out in a secret bunker… shouldn’t you meet the intruder head on and show him who the boss is? We’re pretty sure a couple taps on his head will make him come around to your way of thinking… but then what do we know? We’re dawgs.

    Sam and Pippen

  8. Turk and Rufus suggest peeing on him….it requires almost an immediate bathie …

  9. Oh Abby, my kittie siblings felt the same way when I was brought home! Now we’re BFFs, so it just takes a little time. Maybe you can even train him to bring you cookies!

    Rooooo!
    Douglas

  10. You do have a problem!!! I with all your other Pawments, you are just going to have to join in the gang!!

  11. Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning

    Dear Abby (hmmm, that has a good ring to it),

    We pups are totally unaware of all things cat-related. We have no advice for you. The older boys here would tell you that fighting it is useless, you might as well just give in and welcome that very cute intruder. Who knows – you just might become the best of friends. Somehow that’s what happened here.

    Woos – Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning

  12. Frankie Furter and Ernie

    Dear Queen Abigail,
    CALL OUT the PALACE GUARDS.. That is what I (Frankie Furter) would do. You Know who I mean don’t you? The Swiss Cheese Guard.
    THEY should be able to rid you of this INVADER.

  13. whatremainsnow

    Queen Abigail…I too fear that you must accept him on the surface and then continue to punish the weak ones until you’re satisfied that they have been properly dealt with. I also agree with Bunny. I think Smudge has good minion potential. Think about it.

  14. Roo

    Oh dear. Trouble on the homestead :O Somethin tells me you’re gonna have to learn to deal with it Queenie 😉

    Waggin at ya,
    Roo

  15. littlemissjackie

    Gosh, Miss Queen Abigail, we were wondering when you were going to let us know how you feel about Mr. Introoder Smudge! Miss Abby, we think you’re going to like having another kittycat around to discuss kittycat things, once you get used to him. Mr. Smudge seems like a nice boy and you will be super at showing him the right way to behave and how to do your biddings! You are such a regal ladycat that Mr. Smudge will surely want to do everything he can for you!

    Luvs,

    Jackie & Dillon

  16. Trouble on the home front, sigh, I wish we could help but we have no idea what its like to have some kittehs in our house but I will say each time I look at smudge I smile, I love his name and I think he is cute. Just give it some time and before you know it you will be happy like the brady bunch 🙂

  17. The Nerve of dat Tuxedo Kitty…stand up on you own four paws and show him who is boss…or, better yet, become furiends! We love to snuggle together, chase each other, play together..and we Stand Up to The D*O*G!!

  18. Lorenza

    Haaa!
    Be patient… and everything is going to be ok!
    Kisses and hugs
    Lorenza

  19. Benny & Lily

    Oh Abby you better show who is boss
    Benny & Lily

  20. I admit, that multi colored nose is super cute

    Stop on by for a visit
    Kari
    http://dogisgodinreverse.com/

  21. 2

    The Dude recommends sitting on the intruder. Even if it doesn’t make him leave, it makes the staff laugh at the new cat.

    • The Dude also recommends giant ninja leaps towards the new cat and then retreating as fast as possible to make the new cat look like a meanie. (it helps that Cocoa is a meanie.)

  22. Woof to you Mayzie!!!! I’m so impressed with how well you and Brudder Ranger are behaving around Smudge. I have to confess that with my prey drive, I could never do it, but of course applaud your efforts. Much love to you – XXOO – Mazzie

  23. Jed & Abby in MerryLand, USA

    Wow, a lot happened at your house since our last visit! We’re also not allowed to have kittehs due to our Abby’s strong prey drive. We figure your Abby will either learn to get along with Smudge or will learn to cohabitate with a frosty reserve that will keep him away from her. The advice about screaming her head off if Smudge gets too close is good; even better if she can limp a little or produce a small injury so your mom will yell at him and pamper her with treats and petting. Good luck.

    Jed is holding his own. Mama has been trying to read up on his condition. Mama definitely made the right decision NOT to become a medical person. Reading all that medical stuff kind of makes her eyes glaze over, and she really needs to absorb it.

    Jed & Abby

  24. Oh dear, this does not sound good! I find it very hard to share my space with anyone – they call me ‘selfish’, I just call it common sense! But I’m sure with some patience you’ll be great friends soon! I hope the bunker isn’t too cold or boring!

    Woof.

    Groucho

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