A Story by Cuzin Bridger

Hello, hello, everybuddy! So todays we have a very special guest poster. It’s my Cuzzin Bridger! Now, this postie is by special request from severals of my furends but mainly my BFF Puddles Duddles Puddin in the Sky. (Don’t tell her I said this, but I thinks she has a crush on my Cuzin Bridger.)

Anyways, here he is! I hopes you enjoy his story!

Thanks, little cousin Mayzie. I mean, really, folks. Isn’t she the cutest? Uh, Mayzie, don’t forget that we agreed on 10 dozen peanut butter cookies and 6 ribeye steaks as payment. Just send them to the house when we’re done here, okay?

Now, let’s see. What did I want to tell you about? Oh yes.

I don’t mean to brag but, well, the fact is I’m a hunting dog. I come from a long line of hunting dogs that trace their ancestry back many years to the old country – Iowa. They have corn in Iowa, you know. I like corn.

But even farther back than that, the land of my sires was Italy. Generations of grand Spinones have trod the fields, flushing birds and retrieving them for their grateful owners. Rugged dogs, these. Dogs who live for the hunt, who revel in spending hours out in the brush with their masters so that at the end of the day, these men could point with pride at the duck or pheasant on their dinner table and say, “Yes, twas I and my dog who provided this meal.”

An Italian Spinone doing what we do best.

I, however, am not one of those dogs. No, instead I was adopted by a woman who, for all her good qualities, seems to have been born without the natural instinct to hunt. I have worked for many years to hone the instinct that I am sure must lay dormant somewhere deep inside. I have taken her on many hikes, pointing out birds hither and yon. I have loaded her into boats and directed her towards the best water foul. And yet never, not once, has she taken a weapon with her to take down these feathered beast that I work so hard to find for her so that she, too, could point to our dinner table with pride.

Look! There's a duck! Wait! You just passed it! Sigh.

I have turned this over in my head many times, wondering what I had done wrong. I lost sleep and skipped meals over this conundrum. Okay, not really but I truly was concerned. I tried in vain to convince myself that it was all right if she didn’t want to hunt. All humans have their own talents. Perhaps – distressing as it was – hunting wasn’t one of hers and if I had to, I could live with this shortcoming.

There are birds out there waiting for us. I just know it!

And then I hit upon an idea I thought might work.

One day I suggested that we gather up a friend of hers and go for a walk in a nearby park. It was a lovely day and we strolled along greeting people and other dogs along the way. We finally came to the pond that sat in the middle of the park that was practically teeming with fat, juicy ducks. And it was at this point that I put my plan into effect. Gathering myself together, I managed to  make myself look horror-stricken and shouted out, “Oh my! Is that a SQUIRREL?”  When my mother turned to look at what she probably imagined to be an evil and rabid tree rat, I launched myself in a rather graceful and determined manner into the pond and began to swim. Toward the ducks.

To say the ducks were surprised is an understatement. You could tell that they were confused by this sudden turn of events and began swimming rather leisurely away. But when it dawned on them what a most athletic dog  I am, their little feet started paddling in a more frenzied manner.

"What the quack is going on?"

At some point, I managed to sneak a look at my mother who was jumping up and down on the bank in a manner I can only describe as wildly enthusiastic. I couldn’t hear exactly what she was saying over my splashing, but I am certain it was along the lines of, “Look, everyone! Look at my mighty hunting dog! I love you, Bridger, and I’m so proud of you.” And look they did! Small children pointed and adults stood with their mouths agape, envious of my innate abilities.

Within a matter of seconds, I managed to snag one of the ducks in my jaws and started to make my way back to shore while my adoring audience watched in awe. Proudly I climbed out of the water, shook myself off, and deposited one stunned yet unharmed duck at my mother’s feet. “And that,” I proclaimed, “is how you hunt.”

Re-enacting my proudest moment.

My mother, overcome with pride, could hardly put two coherent words together and only sputtered something like, “Bridger, you some duck.” I interpreted this to mean she wanted me to bring her another one and promptly dove back into the water to fulfill her command – overjoyed that at last we would be able to point with pride at our dinner table tonight.

But the next thing I knew, her friend had hold of my collar and was dragging me unceremoniously out of the water. I implored my mother for help but she seemed transfixed by the memory of my awesome feat of hunting prowess and was unable to intervene on my behalf. “Ah, well,” I thought, “at least we’ll have one duck for dinner.” It wasn’t until we arrived home that I realized with horror that the duck that I had worked so hard to get had been left behind in our hasty retreat out of the park and back into the car.

Unfortunately, this story does not have the happy ending I’m sure you were all hoping for. My mother, despite my best attempts to train her, still has not gotten the hang of hunting. And so instead I keep her content by giving her little things to do to keep her mind active – like mulling over the reasons why I just ate that entire bag of potting soil.

So, friends, I suppose the moral of the story is that we must love our humans despite their shortcomings but that we must never, ever give up on them because you just never know what they might someday be able to achieve.

Oh, and Mayzie, remember – cookies and ribeye. Okay?

Advertisements

31 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

31 responses to “A Story by Cuzin Bridger

  1. That was some story, Bridger. My Moms give me the old stink eye every time they see Stubby, who is squirrel who lives in and around our yard. Sometime last year Stubby lost half his tail somehow. I’m not saying I did it and I’m not saying I didn’t. Point is, if I’m getting the stink eye for a squirrel they’d be ballistic over a duck – or as they say every time we pass a pond, “Oh, look, duckie families. Awww!” No hunters in this house either. One of my Moms is even a vegetabletarin. Chew on that for a while.

    Hey, enjoy those rib eyes!

    wags, Lola

  2. Oooooooh..swoon…I thinks I’m in looooove! Oh gosh, I’m blushing. What in da devil has come overs me? Well this is just most embarrasing. Hehehehe…I’m getting all da gigglies now.
    Now Bridger, you know I am a hunting dog myself. Yep, that’s right, I might be short and looooong but mighty I am. Nothing is sfe in my yard (except fur da Great Dane that visits)I likes me some squirrels, rats, and ground hogs. You should see me on da hunt fur my food…I look good hunting if I don’t say so myself. I come from Germany though, well my ancestors did anyway. I come from SC which is also know as da Redneck capital of da universe. We haves couches on our front porches too. Anyway, you haves some impressive hunting skills there. Uh maybe oneday you coulds teach me how to hunt ducks and I could teach you a thing or two…I mean how to hunt and burrow fur badgers…yea, that’s what I meant. I just hope duck hunting don’t require me to gets near da water…Puddles don’t do that. Now those badgers lives underground so I hopes you not closetaphobia and haves short legs cuz you coulds get stuck deep in a hole. And that just wouldn’t be a pretty sight to see if you gots stuck.
    Howevers, afters this most delightful and intriguing post I thinks I may has to go find some water to cool off…cuz you are so full of da handsomness.
    Is it hot in heres or is it just me?
    Puddles

  3. Bridger that was some story!! Have you considered taking your act on the road….or maybe doing a segment on the Outdoor’s Sportmans show! You have that duck thing down to a fine art…well you would have expect the two leggers got in the way.

    Mayzie tell mom there is a Bojangles on every corner in NC!!! You don’t have them in Collie-rado?

    Madi and Mom

  4. Frankie Furter

    Bridger that is a GRRRRREAT hunting story. I wish you could be here so you and my dad and I could swap some more huntin’ stories. It’s a shame your mom didn’t bring your catch home. I know how yummy duck is. My Ruby and Penny send me Duck Jerky and it is grrrrrreat. I hear Fresh Duck tastes just like Chicken.
    Thanks for the grrrreat adventure story!!!

  5. ear Cuzzin Bridger:

    I am a great hunting dog too. I have trained my muzzer not to scream when I bring gifts, although my Dad still must be available to remove my catch. I generally do not bring live offerings, but ….well, I am a terrier steeped in many generations of the “neck snap” method of killing.

    Anyway, I think you can train the hoomans not to panic, but you cannot make them eat the kill.

    Teka Toy Dagger

  6. Hey Bridger!

    I am Mayzie’s cuzin, are we related? My mom can trace her ancestry back to Iowa too, how cool is that? That was a wonderful and exciting story about your hunting adventure. Thanks you ever so much for sharing it with us.

    Woofs and Licks,
    Maggie Mae

    PeeS I thinks Puddles likes you…

  7. It was nice you meet you. You are infact one handsome boy!

    Wags and Licks,
    Mollie Jo & Bobo
    & Uncle Puppy

  8. I think you need to take up specialty pastas, as that too is a very proud tradition of mighty Italians such as yourself. Then, you can point proudly to the dinner table, laden with Ragus, pennes, meatballs and cheeses and say…. Bon Appetit!

    Ciao! xoxo

  9. cuzzin bridger,
    YOU ARE TOTALLY AWESOME SAUCE!!!
    see, i am a labradoggie, and i love the whole duck hunt thingie, too. my mama is like yours and just doesn’t know anythingie about hunting. i am super impressed that you found a way to show off your amazing hunting skills in front of your mama and all of those other hoomans!! what i just can not understand is why your mama didn’t bring the duckie home for supper?! is she allergic to duckies maybe??
    *woof*
    the booker man

  10. We are in awe of your great hunting skills Bridger…In awe

    Smileys & Snuggles!
    Dory, Bilbo and Jacob

  11. How interestin’ you are Cousin Bridger!! Thanks for sharing with us!

    Woofs and Kisses!
    The Fiesty Three

  12. Mango

    Ultimately, a sad story. Some humans are so impaired that they should be classified as special needs. Imagine not wanting to hunt. And apparently these defectives hang out in groups. Yuh, that one idiot grabbing you so that you could not go back and get ducks for everybody.

    You poor, poor doggie.

    Slobbers,
    Mango

  13. Hi Bridger! It is great to hear your story – we have heard of similar tales, but never from someone with first hand knowledge. It is too bad you were dragged off and that they forgot the duck – what a tragedy! And well, as for your mom, it just may be that she doesn’t have that hunting instinct like you do. Some mom’s just don’t have it. Good luck with trying to bring it out in her!

  14. Lovely to meet you Cousin Bridger, you are quite the storyteller! We hope you appear as guest writer again on Mayzie’s blog – you are very cute.
    We also want to hunt duck and cannot understand human thinking!
    love
    Martha and Bailey xx

  15. Don’t forget about the cookies Mayzie!

    Your cousin is such a pretty dog 🙂

  16. Cousin Bridger, I am amazed and impressed by your most wonderous feat! You have got some serious talent. I wish I could teach my humans to let me do a little hunting, too! I was born to hunt! I hope you get another shot at that duck!

    Bunny

  17. Hey Bridger, I’m from the Olde Country! (Iowa, BOL!)
    Dat was a GREAT story, we enjoyed it furry much!!!

    Luv,
    Cloud

  18. Mayzie
    Youw cussin Bwidgew is not only tewwibully handsome but tells an exciting stowy too.
    Such instincts and patience wif the hooman..twooly admiwable.

    I have a spumoni fow a fwiend in my doggie wun and will have to tell youw stowy and see if he has any hooman taining advice I can pass on to you. sheesh…it’s a good thing we’we soo patient
    smoochie kisses
    ASTA

  19. Christina

    Hey Bridger! Good thing woo are related to Mayzie because I was getting a wittle worried that woo were tryin to hunt my LADY! Trying to all impress her with your huntin’ skillz! I have skills too you know! I can lick my butt and watch t.v. at the same time. I never have boogies in my nose. and I am really good at stealing Mia’s treats! Don’t worry she doesn’t need them anyway…no really…

    Anyhoo, You are a real cool dude Bridger. I would love to RETRIEVE with you since it’s in our BLOOD and all. We are naturals woo know. Humans just don’t get it!

    Wags and woofs,
    Mack and Mia

  20. Kendra, Daisy and Bella

    Our Hero! we’re hunters, too But we’ve never actually caught anything except bugs. Usually, we get told we’re good dogs when we do that. Bella catches frogs, but she gets the evil eye. Oh, to be able to give full rein to our ancestry!

    You’re right, we just have to love them the way they are……even if they’re slow on the uptake.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Kendra & Bella

    PeeS: Mayzie, you are the luckiest girl! Bridger, Mack and Booker!

  21. So many comments about these non-hunting moms. You think you have it bad? MY mom got me two ducks as PETS!! Now that is plumb crazy isn’t it?!

    I can see why Puddles is smitten with Cuzin Bridger. He is a bit mischievous, just like Puddles! BOL!

    Wags,
    Zona

  22. This is my furst time to meet Cuzin Bridger! How fun you is!! I just loved hearing your story.

    I am thinking I may haves to ‘fight’ Puddles for your attention ‘cuz’ I thinks Cuzin Bridger looks just like a big handsome wirehaired doxie (like I is heeheehee) or maybes I looks like a short legged Italian Spinone!

    ((Hugs)) MinnaK

  23. What a great, great post! You are a fantastic storyteller, Cuzin Bridger! 😀

    Slobbers,
    Honey the Great Dane

  24. What a great story!

    I so feel your pain – we have no sled here!

    I’ll be looking furward to more Cuzin Bridger Tales!

    Hugz&Khysses,
    Khyra

  25. Phew! The duck was unharmed but you sure scared the daylight out of her, cousin Bridger.
    Oh yeah, we should love our humans and never give up on them, I’ll try furry hard for that.
    Cheers!

  26. Bridger!
    What a story!
    Thanks for sharing it!
    Kisses and hugs
    Lorenza

  27. Oh Cousin Bridger – what a confused existence you must lead! Glad I don’t have any of those pesky hunting instincts, I just like to bark at the wildlife (I’d never catch them anyways, so why bother chasing??) I’ll save my energies for more important things!

    Snorts-
    Brutus the (traveling) Frenchie

  28. Bridger, it is so nice to meet you! What a great story. We loved getting to know you. I hope the cookies and steaks are on their way.:)

    Love,
    Teddy Bear

  29. You are our hero, Cuzin Bridger! What an awesome hunting dog you are and a real cutie too!

    Love ya lots
    Maggie and Mitch

  30. Hi Cuzin Bridger, great hunting tale you spun here. We would love to join you on a hunt. Thunder is a pro at snagging snakes and bunnies and Ciara just loves all sorts of dirt – so we are sure she would be a great help too.

    Too bad you forgot to bring the duck home – it would have made a great stuffie.

    Woos – Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

  31. Uh, Mayzie…you there? Are you really really sures you is there? Are you sure you ain’t on dam udder ship? Well, you might wanna go back and read your comment you posted on my bloggie….then we’ll talk bouts dam udder ship and how you need a ticket….hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

    Puddles

Leave Me a Pawment!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s