How to defeat the flashy beast

Hi everydoggie! Thanks for all the Most Nice comments on my post yesterday! Two that made me BOL were from Daisy who said I was a Pibble Boxer Swirl and Sam who made the Most Fabulous suggestion that I should refer to myself as a French Pit Boxer. Doesn’t that sound Most Exotic?

Okay, so’s I wanted to talk about something that I thinks everydoggie can relate to… having to put up with the Flashy Beast. (Okay, everydoggie except for Bella, who seems to luvs it a lot for some reason.) Now, pointing the Flashy Beast at me and Brudder Ranger makes my Most Wonderful Mom so much happy. And cuz of that, I try real hard to pose pretty for her. But sometimes a girl just wants to be Most Adorable in peace, you know?

That’s why I have come up with a few ways to convince her to just put down the Flashy Beast and walk away. They don’t work all the times but they’re worth a try.

Okay, for the first one, makes sure you mess up the BED real good so your mom will be oh-so-embarrassed to show the picture to her furends. Then put on your Most Stinkiest Stinkface…

Now, it has to be REALLY stinky. Not just a little stinky. So think about something Most Horrible. Here I am thinking about that Evil Squirrel Intruder that got away.

Now, on some occasions the Stinkface won’t work cuz  humans sometimes think Stinkfaces are cute. So if that doesn’t work, something else you can try is called the “Blur Technicque.” To do this, you moves real quick right as your pawrent is pushing down on that button thingie. This produces a Most Unusable blurry effect. (You can also mess with the settings on your pawrent’s Flashy Beast, but this requires Advanced Flashy Beast Knowledge  so is not for everydoggie.)

Oh, that makes me think of another one that’s kinda related. I call it “The Last Second Lookaway.” So what you do is you wait until your mom or dad thinks they’ve got the Most Perfect Shot Ever and then pretend that you’ve just heard something Most Interesting…

And if you have brudders or sisters, you could also try the “Synchronized Lookaway,” but that’s a bit more trickier. So I would give you advices to practice before you try it out for reals. Here’s me and Brudder Ranger demonstrating it for you.

Brudder Ranger is Most Perfect at the art of the “Last Minute Walkaway,” but I’m still working on that one…

If all else fails, you could try the “Guilt Complex.” This is where you looks at mom or dad like the Flashy Beast scares the dogma outta you. But I try not to do it too often cuz it really does work…and I hate making my mom feel TOO bad…

I hope very much that my post today helped some doggies and kittehs learn how to live in More Perfect Harmony with the Flashy Beast. And here’s the Most Importantest thing to remember. Sometimes you just gotta throw your pawrents a bone and give them a pretty pose. Cuz I’m pretty sure they do it cuz they luvs us. Even if it’s a Most Strange way of showing it.


Filed under Flashy Beast

18 responses to “How to defeat the flashy beast

  1. Hi Mayzie!!! Madi pondered all the pictures and has come to this decision….no matter what you try to do to discourage the flashy beast….you are beautiful from ALL directions. Also, Madi said to tell you she has been trying for the last year avoid it and it is impossible. The humans are shameless…they things they will take pictures of to get ones of us too.
    As for your dna…we love French Pit Boxer….your mom can tell folks you are a FPB…initials are fashionable.
    Madi and Mom

  2. Frankie Furter

    Oh Mayzie you gave us some very much grrrreat advice here. I do sometimes use the quick move blur and walk away methods, butt I am going to try these others for sure!! I kind of get a kick out of messing with my mom’s mind like this. Goood stuff. I’m just sayin’.

  3. The funny thing is that your mom is still taking pictures, even with your antics! I think you need a master plan to beat this Flashie Beast, Mayzie!

  4. We have had some unidentifiable dogs over the years and the most fun is making up a name of what you might be. Of course it has to be something no one has ever heard of before. We liked a Bulgarian Sheep dog, a Croation Wolf Hound, a Polish Dorna . . .just take your pick. Or make up something of your own. Just make sure it sounds like a rare breed!

    BOL, Mayzie!

    Stella ( A Borador -Border Collie and Lab)

  5. Maizey, you are crackn’ us up! We use all those techniques when mother brings out the picture taker! Ohhhh, if you could hear the words she uses sometimes, it’d make you blush. BOL!

    We’re very good at the blurrr technique as well as the ignore each other in synchronicity pose.

    Stella, Gunther and Betty

  6. Mayzie,

    Those are all very good techniques but you forgot one – closing your eyes in anticipation of the flashy… mom hates that one! She has tons of fantastic pictures of me but my eyes are closed in all of them!

    Sam and Pippen!

  7. I liked you’re stinky face and guilt look–so charming! Mr. B. is the master of the look-away and the blur. Thanks for the info, I am now on to his tricks.

  8. twinkietinydog

    Helped? Are you kidding? Precious information. I was on the verge of figuring out the messy bed myself but the last minute look-away, now that’s a great tip.
    Thanks Mayzie, you’re a good furiend

  9. What wonderful advice Mayzie…I will start practicing right away!


  10. We have tried most of those techniques at home, too! Just be careful! Soon they’ll get a moving pictures flashy beast since they can’t get stills of you!

    BTW, you have a great fashion eye! My coat is from Voyager’s K9 Apparel!


  11. Thanks fur sharing your wisdom!

    Khyra & Khousin Merdie

  12. Mango

    Here is another one for you to try… snooter right on the lens move. Hehehe. I do that one a lot. But blurry is my second most favorite.


  13. Mayzie!
    Sure you know how to “no” work for the flashy thing!
    Thanks for sharing your tips!
    Kisses and hugs

  14. Mayzie,
    Thank you for the wonderful tips! I usually love the flashy thing and so does Boxen but mom forgets to charge it a lot so she does not use it very often. When she does we don’t mind it too much.

    Thanks for your wonderful comments. We love new bloggy friends and you are going to be one of our favorites we can already tell.

    Bella and Boxen

  15. Excellent advice, Mayzie. My dogs often like to stand in front of the vacuum cleaner, or a table filled with clutter, or a table filled with dust, in hopes that I won’t take their picture because of the background. It has worked quite often! But instead of cleaning my house I just try to get the dogs to stand somewhere else so I can get a better picture. 🙂

  16. hello mayzie its dennis the vizsla dog hay dadas kamra yoozd to mayk this beepy noize wen he wood tern it on and thats how i wood no that he wuz going to tayk pikchers and so i cud run away but now he ternd that off so he can sneek up on me crafty crafty dada!!! ok bye

  17. Oh Mayzie, we are reading backwards and can’t believe we have fallen so far behind with your blog.
    Now this was a post right up our street! We had a campaign sometime ago asking all dogs not to cooperate with the flashie beast.
    We were demanding our rights – not pics without treats!
    You are a girl after our own hearts and can come join us on the barricades.
    Way to go, Mayzie.
    love and kisses
    Martha & Bailey xxxx

  18. Oh Miss Mayzie, I thanks you loads for referring me back to this post about how to defeats the flashy beast. Mom says I all ready know the lookaway and the blur moves really well but I thinks there is always room for improvement AND you are never too old to learn something new so I will work on all of your other great suggestions too. 🙂

    Woofs and Licks,
    Maggie Mae

    PeeS My mom wants to give your sweet face a smoochie!

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